Okie dokie here we go!
First thing is the broken toilet, that just happened today. UGH!
Anyway...
I've been thinking a lot about a certain dream of mine; and that is opening up a cute little boho coffee shop. I'm not sure that will ever happen. In this economy, stores and shop are closing down left and right and things aren't looking good... especially since it's 2012 and the world has an immanent doom that has been cast upon us by the ancient Mayans lol. But, I want my little coffee shop so bad. I can see it in my head the warm colors, the smell of espresso, fresh baked goods, art from local artists on the walls, the people talking, indi music playing, having regulars I can just imagine everything. My heart aches for it and I know it sounds stupid, but it's something I really want. Since I was a teenager I've toyed with idea having my own little boho coffee shop my ideas have changed it a bit over the years, but I've had the Idea none the less. I think I'm going to go for a business degree, I know, a generic degree... but who cares? right? It's something, something more than I'm doing right now, which is nothing...
I'm also trying to get back into my art. It's been about 2 years now that I haven't really done any art. As an artistic person I'm really disappointed with the fact that I haven't done much art for so long. My entire life I've always done art, I would draw everyday, I used to paint all the time and all sorts of different crafts, but I haven't really done any of that. Not since I started gardening have I wanted to do it and now I've been taking pictures I've started to doodle, just baby steps back into my art world. I still look at things the way I used to, I still will look at something and then start to pick it apart, and figure out how it works so maybe I could figure out how to draw or paint it. I never got really great at my art, but I really enjoyed it. The past couple of years though, have proved to be a kinda tough. I used to use my art as a way to express my emotions, my thoughts, but I lost it, and now I'm trying to get it back. I need to fight for my expression again. I've let myself become a drone, and that's a bit distressing.
That brings me to this, the drone thing. I really have been living on auto pilot for quite a while now. I used to be so vibrant, and energetic. I always wanted to go place to see new things, I still want to see things I want to travel. I used to have a drive, I used to believe my life was going to be so much more, and then nothing happened. I still see things through my child like wonder, I still do see everything as an adventure, but it's just happening less now. It's my own fault for letting myself become this person, and here is where this blog comes in. I started this to start a change in my life, and It really has. I've been keeping to it, even though I have some serious ADD and don't stick to things more than a day lol. I didn't think this was what was going to happen when I started this post, but I think it's really shed some light on things I've been avoiding, which is life really, when I think about it. I've been avoiding it like the plague, I usually just make everything a joke so i can avoid the painful aspects of life. Yeah, that's gotta stop. Time to start living!
Oh, boy! Have I been a Debbie Downer today!
Here's a random picture:
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