Dreams and Such

I haven't written anything in a while so I'm just gonna jot down some of the things that are on my mind.

Okie dokie here we go!

First thing is the broken toilet, that just happened today. UGH! 

Anyway...

I've been thinking a lot about a certain dream of mine; and that is opening up a cute little boho coffee shop. I'm not sure that will ever happen. In this economy, stores and shop are closing down left and right and things aren't looking good... especially since it's 2012 and the world has an immanent doom that has been cast upon us by the ancient Mayans lol. But, I want my little coffee shop so bad.  I can see it in my head the warm colors, the smell of espresso, fresh baked goods, art from local artists on the walls, the people talking, indi music playing, having regulars I can just imagine everything. My heart aches for it and I know it sounds stupid, but it's something I really want. Since I was a teenager I've toyed with idea having my own little boho coffee shop my ideas have changed it a bit over the years, but I've had the Idea none the less. I think I'm going to go for a business degree, I know, a generic degree... but who cares? right? It's something, something more than I'm doing right now, which is nothing... 

I'm also trying to get back into my art. It's been about 2 years now that I haven't really done any art. As an artistic person I'm really disappointed with the fact that I haven't done much art for so long. My entire life I've always done art, I would draw everyday, I used to paint all the time and all sorts of different crafts, but I haven't really done any of that. Not since I started gardening have I wanted to do it and now I've been taking pictures I've started to doodle, just baby steps back into my art world. I still look at things the way I used to, I still will look at something and then start to pick it apart, and figure out how it works so maybe I could figure out how to draw or paint it. I never got really great at my art, but I really enjoyed it. The past couple of years though, have proved to be a kinda tough. I used to use my art as a way to express my emotions, my thoughts, but I lost it, and now I'm trying to get it back. I need to fight for my expression again. I've let myself become a drone, and that's a bit distressing. 

That brings me to this, the drone thing. I really have been living on auto pilot for quite a while now. I used to be so vibrant, and energetic. I always wanted to go place to see new things, I still want to see things I want to travel. I used to have a drive, I used to believe my life was going to be so much more, and then nothing happened. I still see things through my child like wonder, I still do see everything as an adventure, but it's just  happening less now. It's my own fault for letting myself become this person, and here is where this blog comes in. I started this to start a change in my life, and It really has. I've been keeping to it, even though I have some serious ADD and don't stick to things more than a day lol. I didn't think this was what was going to happen when I started this post, but I think it's really shed some light on things I've been avoiding, which is life really, when I think about it. I've been avoiding it like the plague, I usually just make everything a joke so i can avoid the painful aspects of life. Yeah, that's gotta stop. Time to start living!  

Oh, boy! Have I been a Debbie Downer today!

Here's a random picture:

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More Backyard Adventures

So I went out and took some pictures today... of my backyard. (once again)

We have a nest.

Bugs View.

Normal grass is rare here in Arizona. 

Sprinklers! woo!

This sums up my day... I did jack and shit today lol.

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Room Redone

I redid my room today... It might take me a few days to decide if I like it. I wanted color on my walls but I don't think we're allowed the paint (rental) so I took that orange fabric that was hanging over my bed and hung along half of my room. Then I created a little alcove for my desk with some more fabric. I rearranged a bit, broke my desk chair and am now using the light blue chair that was next to my bookcase lol. I feel fancy, and really close to the floor. It's still a work in progress and I'm thinking its gonna take some getting used to. I don't know if I would have chosen this color to paint on the walls but maybe it will really grow on me it's kind of a shock each time I come in my room. I'm not finished yet, my Mom went to bed so I stopped hammering. Once I get a new computer chair I'll be moving the blue chair back. My room is far to small for all the things I have in it but I love those things, and I'm making them work... kinda. My room feels smaller, but much more cozy. I can be pretty fickle sometimes I may just end up tearing every thing down and redoing it lol.

Family picture collage 

My desk is still a mess.

the wall I created with fabric

My office

My sloppily made bed. 

Random

Ok, just a few things...

I need this.

AAaandd...

I should wear this everyday.

Also....

This is my hipster pic of the day...





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I Drew This

I drew this...

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Sad Attempts

Ok, so I posted those pictures of how my dream house would be decorated.... this was my attempt.....

View #1 of my bed.

View #2 of my bed.

Back of a chair with a sweater on it and random stuff on the wall.

kind of a different view.

This is the corner on the other side  of my bed. I have way more books! that's just all that flimsy thing could hold.  

 As you can see this was a fail in a half. I'm pretty sure my room looks like a weird teenage and child-like wanna-be room lol. 


Ugh. I need to redo my room, but I don't know what to do. It's driving me crazy.




                                                                                    .

Just a Drive... and a vid.

Holy crap I'm so full!

Just had dinner... I made stir-fry, aaannd it was amazing.

Anyway, Went for a drive with my sister today. It was nice got to get out and see Phoenix, and see crack heads/coke heads/meth heads/just anything you could put heads after, riding around on their bikes shirtless... Oh, and EVERY black dude we saw today had an Afro it was kinda weird. I'm pretty sure they were all meeting up some where to talk about the awesomeness of their hair. We also saw like a thousand teenagers all wearing the same blue shirt and black pants, I was pretty sure it was a cult. We also got stalked by a couple old dudes and some day workers, used filthy bathrooms and got called bitches by bitches standing in front of a convenient store, and overall just had a fun time. That was my day.

Oh yeah pretty sure we saw a zombie today... just sayin'.

This amused me today :)

Thank you PJthekick/kickthePJ for existing.

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No Homo

This made me laugh today.

My Day and a Picture.

Already today I messed up... I didn't wake up as early as I would have liked(damn you books keeping me up all night), but I gotta move on from that.

I had fruit and nuts for breakfast, it makes me feel like.... a.... forest dweller? Cave person? Early humanoid? primitive? Kind of like a monkey? I don't mean any of that in a bad way. I just mean I feel like I'm getting back to my roots lol. It's even better 'cause I had a banana! Fruit and nuts I've foraged for in the imaginary rain forest that I'm imagining I'm from.... bahahaha.  Anyway, I should exercise today. Hmmm... what shall I do today? I'll probably just dance around do a few reps with the 5lb weights and call it a day. So far I've managed to avoid the chocolate, but it's only 1:00 pm as I'm writing this. So we have a lot of the day left.

So I totally forget to post this last night, oh well and on to today...

Last night recap:
I failed and had chocolate, I didn't exercise, and I went to bed really late.

But I did manage to get up earlier today. Today is a new day and it's not as hot today in here in the 7th layer of hell we call Arizona. Maybe I'll go for a nice walk... we'll see it's still pretty warm out. I'm the type of person who will boiling hot and uncomfortable it's only until it's freezing outside, is when I will be comfortable.

Same tree different picture.

Dream Home

I dream someday I will have my own place and in this place it will look something like this:

God, yes! 

Needs more books though...

There we go fixed that!

Introduction

So, I'm 100% sure no one will be reading this, and I don't care.

So a little about me. My name is Stephanie and I'm a 24 years old. I don't party much, not really a big drinker either. I'm overweight. Soak that in. I say overweight because I hate the word FAT. It really has a negative connotation. Anyway, I'm not happy with where I'm at in my life; I didn't graduate high school, nor have I gotten my GED. On top of these things I've never had a job. When I was 17 my family and I moved, I left school in the early part of the year, then just never went back. We were moving so much I never knew where we were going to be that time in the next year. So, I ended up not ever going back to school, but I'm planning on changing this. I ended being stuck as 17 year old for 7 years and it's time to change. I've come to a point where I can't wait for people to start for me and can't wait for people to HELP me get started, I just need to do these things on my own. My entire childhood I was overweight. I was really awkward, and still am. As a kid and into my teen years I had always imagined my self to be healthy and successful by this point on my life, but life doesn't work like a kid could always hope lol. I'm really tired right now so my thought are a little scattered.

Okay, so that was last night. Pretty sure I was a little out of it lol. Yet I'm going to post that anyway.

I'm not here write my autobiography... well I guess if you think about it I guess I kind of am. So, what I'm doing here is... I figure if I document what I'm doing, I can keep track of what I'm doing, but in a creative way. I have a problem though. I have this bad habit of starting things and not finishing them. So this is going to be a struggle. I'm definitely going to try and keep things short and sweet kinda like little recaps of my day. Only for this one exception, but it's my introduction. What do you want? Those things are long sometimes!

So, what I've said before, I'm trying to change my life around and get it started. I'm still not to sure what I want to do when I grow up, but sometimes you just gotta start. I want to lose weight, as previously stated. So, these are the tasks in which I plan to write down and keep track of, share what I'm doing and things I should never, ever do again. Like right now, I just ate a handful of Hershey Kisses, aaand I should be grounded. I know those wont be my last for the day either.

Anyway, I think I'm done for now... I do think I'm going to be sharing a picture each day. If anything, anyone who does come to this blog they'll be able to bypass all that reading and just look at pretty picture.

My backyard.

 

First

So, my first blog...(and a picture I took of a tree)

That is all.

Enjoy.

Indeed.